Documents - Parenting Information

Communication Tips for Parents and Children

There are lots of stereotypes about teens and there are parallel stereotypes about parents. One misconception is that becoming a teen automatically generates conflict and communication problems with parents. As a teen, you know how often people’s perceptions about you and your friends are incorrect. Is it impossible that the notion that teens and parents must struggle with one another is equally wrong? Parents often have a hard time balancing the need to keep their kids safe with allowing enough freedom and experience so their teens grow up successfully. As you have learned through experience, parents certainly don’t have all the answers, and aren’t right all the time - whatever they think. They are all too human and imperfect.

One advantage of becoming a teen is the opportunity it offers for developing a new and positive relationship with your family. You are now better able to understand the complexities of relationships and take more control over your role in their development. Have you thought about ways you can contribute to positive communication and strong relationships with your family? You have a tremendous amount of power to influence the way your family responds. Here are some ideas you may find helpful.

These ideas are designed to work in various family settings, whether you live with one parent or two, with grandparents, other relatives, or other caring adults.

Talk to your parents everyday. Let them know what your day was lie. Share one thing that happened to you - whether it was funny, frustrating or just interesting. Be prepared for a surprised response if your parents aren’t used to this. Set aside 10 minutes each day to get them used to this new routine.
Ask your parents what their day was like. Ask questions about their childhood and teen years. What was the hardest? What did they enjoy about their family? How did they handle conflict? What are their best memories?
Accept your parents’ limitations. Some things may be difficult for them to discuss, so find other caring adults you can talk with.
If you want your parents to listen to you, choose wisely the time you speak with them. Approach then when they are not in the middle of something or in a bad mood. Look at them when you are talking - it will have greater impact.
Parents often see a direct connection between giving you more freedom and the amount of trust they feel. Earn trust by your behavior; be responsible and honest, do what is expected without being told, think of things you can do that your parents will value and appreciate.
Keep track of one another’s whereabouts. Your parents want to know where you are, but you should also know how to reach your parents and siblings in an emergency. Help your family find a system to keep all of informed.
Be clear about expectations and rules in your home. When in doubt, check it out! (Surprisingly, several teen surveys reveal that teens themselves want boundaries and clear expectations, as well as direction and attention from parents and caring adults.)
Make time to spend with your siblings doing fun and caring activities. Find out what is going on in their lives. Praise them and celebrate their accomplishments - they need your support and attention. It may be difficult to do this with siblings who pick on you, but you may change your relationship with your care and curiosity.
Be willing to compromise. Sometimes you have to give a little to get what you want.
Let your parents know you care about them even though you don’t always agree.
Spend time with your family. Try to eat one meal or more with them every day. Interestingly, research indicates that you who have close emotional relationships with their parents are likelier to become healthier adults and be more successful in becoming independent that youth who don’t.
Treat the people in your family the way you wish they would treat you.

Unfortunately, not all family settings provide loving, encouraging and caring places for youth. If you find yourself in this situation, seek the support you need n such caring and positive places as a faith community or a school or youth organization. Ask your school counselor, religious leader or youth worker for suggestions.


1. Notice them
2. Smile a lot
3. Acknowledge them
4. Learn their names
5. Seek them out
6. Remember their birthdays
7. Ask them about themselves
8. Look in their eyes when you talk to them
9. Listen to them
10. Play with them
11. Read aloud together
12. Giggle together
13. Be nice
14. Say yes a lot
15. Tell them their feelings are o.k.
16. Set boundaries that keep them safe
17. Be honest
18. Be yourself
19. Listen to their stories
20. Hug them
21. Forget your worries sometimes and concentrate only on them
22. Notice when they’re acting differently
23. Present options when they seek your counsel
24. Play outside together
25. Surprise them
26. Stay with them when they are afraid
27. Invite them over for juice
28. Suggest better behavior when they act out
29. Feed them when they are hungry
30. Delight in their discoveries
31. Share their excitement
32. Send them a letter or a postcard
33. Follow them when they lead
34. Notice when they are absent
35. Call them to say hello
36. Hide surprises for them to find
37. Give them space when they need it
38. Contribute to their collections
39. Discuss their dreams and nightmares
40. Laugh at their jokes
41. Be relaxed
42. Kneel, squat, or sit so you are at their eye level
43. Answer their questions
44. Tell them how terrific they are
45. Create a tradition with them and keep it
46. Learn what they have to teach
47. Use your ears more than your mouth
48. Make your self available
49. Show up at their concerts, games and events
50. Find a common interest

Taken from the Search Institute: 50 Ways to Show Kids You Care:

A Mother's Story.

As Told by Astrid Lindgren

Author of Pippi Longstocking Recipient of the 1978 Peace Prize of the German Book Trade.I would like to tell those, however, who so loudly call for stricter discipline and tighter reins, what an old lady once told me. She was a young mother at a time when one still believed the saying from the Bible. "Spare the rod and spoil the child." At the bottom of her heart she didn't believe this, but one day her son did something for which, in her opinion, he had earned a sound thrashing…the first in his life. She directed him to go to the garden and to find a rod himself which he should then bring to her. The little boy went out and did not return for a long, long while. Finally he returned crying and said, "I couldn't find a rod, but here is a stone which you can throw at me." Then the mother began to cry too, for suddenly she saw everything through the eyes of the child. The child must have thought: "My mother really wants to hurt me and she can also do this with a stone." She took her little son into her arms and they both cried together for a while. She then placed the stone on a shelf in the kitchen and left I there as a constant reminder of the promise she had made herself in this hour… "Never violence."

Never Violence Astrid Lindgren, Bookbird 1979

Provided by:

Broome County Child Aabuse Council Office of Prevention and Education

P.O. Box 1766
Binghamton, NY
(607) 778-2153

ACHIEVEMENT CENTER PROGRAMS

413 North Main Street
Jamestown, NY 14701
Phone:(716) 488-2755
Toll Free:1-888-821-3110

Early Intervention: - For children ages birth to 3 years with any type of developmental delay or disability: the Achievement Center helps children learn thinking, social language, physical and self help skills through play. They provide multi disciplinary evaluations, speech, physical and occupational therapies and toddler play groups.

Preschool: - Any child ages 3 to 5 in the Clymer district is eligible to atend the Findley Lake Early Childhood Center and will be enrolled in a multi-aged classroom.

Universal Pre-Kindergarten: - The Universal Pre Kindergarten Program is contracted with the Clymer Central School district for eligible four year olds to provide pre school experience for all children who would otherwise not have the opportunity to attend preschool. The intent is to prepare all children to be ready to learn when they enter kindergarten. Transportation is provided for child / family. There is no fee or tuition for the child / family residing within the Clymer Central School district boundaries.

Related Services: - The Achievement Center is also an approved provider of realted services, such as community and home based speech therapy, physical and occupational therapy and support services for children with autism and mental health diagnosis.

CAMPUS AND COMMUNITY CHILDREN'S CENTER

Thompson Hall - SUNY Fredonia
Fredonia, NY 14063
Phone:(716) 673-4662

Before School Program at the Wheelock Primary School, After School Program at the First United Methodist Church, Summer Camp and Early Childhood Program held at Thompson Hall, SUNY Fredonia. Fun, enriching and varied programming opportunities for homework help, outdoor play, community service and field trips. Fredonia students are bused to the program others must find their own transportation. Optional nutritious snack and heritage grouping. Parents mus either work or be enrolled in school.

CENTER FOR FAMIY UNITY PARENTING GROUP

413 N. Main Street
Jamestown, NY 14701
Phone:(716) 483-5820

Facilitated parenting groups for eight weeks at a time. Topics include medical issues, understanding the goals of your child's behavior, anger management, positive parenting, communication building, your child's self esteem, and relationship skills.

CHAUTAUQUA CHILD CARE COUNCIL

Laughlin Community Action Center	Chautauqua Connections North
610 West Third Street	10825 Bennett Road
Jamestown NY 14701	Dunkirk, NY 14048
Phone: (716) 661-9430	Phone: (716) 366-8176

TOLL FREE REFERRAL LINE: 1-800-4CHILDCARE (1-800-424-4532)

Child Care Resource and Referral service acting as a linking point for families, providers, employers, and community planning agencies. Works toward building a strong dependent care infrastructure that is directly responsive to the needs of working families, existing businesses, and future economic development in Chautauqua County. Services include: child care information and referrals, parent support, child care development, child care provider training and support, employer services, community education, child care advocacy, community planning, Child and Adult Care Food Program.

CHILD CARE RESOURCE AND REFERRAL SERVICE

1-800-4CHILDCARE
1-800424-4532

FREDONIA MIGRANT PARENT & CHILD PROGRAM

W133 Thompson Hall - SUNY Fredonia
Fredonia, NY 14063
Phone:(716) 673-3526

This program provides activities for pre-school children so they are well prepared for Kindergarten by utilizing parents as the primary teachers of their own children. Family must work in an agriculture related field and have moved in the last three years to secure the work.

EARLY CHILD CARE PROGRAM
(Campus and Community Children's Center)

E155 Thompson Hall, SUNY at Fredonia
Fredonia, NY 14063
Phone:(716) 673-4662

Developmentally appropriate curriculum embraces all areas of a child's development and physical, social, emotional, creative, cognitive and language. Teaching with hands on discoveries with real objects and explorations through the sense. Daily outdoor play. Family style breakfast, lunch and snacks. Parents must either work or be enrolled in school. Minimum of two day's a week required. Hours 7:30AM - 5:30PM. Fee, sliding scale. Ages 2 - 5.

EPIC
(Every Person Influences Children)

Located at several sites throughout Chautauqua County
Phone:(716) 483-5613

EPIC is a parenting education program that supports both parents and teachers in raising children to become responsible citizens. EPIC help all children - including those experiencing the normal challenges of growing up and those facing exceptional social and economic barriers.

EVEN START

One-Stop / Department of Labor
90 East Fourth Street
Phone:(716) 366-3631

Provides intensive center and home-based literacy and parenting information and support services to families with children between 0 and 8 years of age where the adult(s) in the household has a literacy need.

JCC CAMPUS CHILDREN'S CENTER

525 Falconer Street
Jamestown, NY 14701
Phone:(716) 665-5220

Licensed and accredited by the National Academy of Early Childhood programs serving infants, toddlers, preschool and pre-kindergarten age children. Hours: 7:30 AM - 5:30 PM, Fees vary, age group is 8 weeks - 5 years.

JOINT NEIGHBORHOOD PROJECT AFTERSCHOOL PROGRAM

532 E. Second Street
Jamestown, NY 14701
Phone:(716) 664-7101

The After School Program is a well-rounded program with crafts, computers, recreation, tutoring, field trips, visits from community people and agencies. In conjunction with the library a heavy emphasis is placed on reading. Snack is served daily. Transportation is available by the Lift bus. A nine-week summer youth program is also offered.

PACERS
(Parents Activating Children's Early Readiness Skills)

Rodgers, Linclon, Bush, Ring, Fletcher and Love Elementary Schools
Jamestown, NY 14701
Phone:(716) 483-5624

Serves families with kindergarten and younger children in the Jamestown School district. A home visitation family enrichment program that includes parent education, developmental screenings, service referrals and follow up, family events and or group meetings, school related enrichment activities and infant & toddler enrichment activities.

PACT
(Parents and Children Together)

Love Elementary School
50 E. 8th Street
Jamestown, NY 14701
Phone:(716) 483-5629

A family enrichment Pre-Kindergarten program for Jamestown School District families with children 4 years of age by December 1st each school year. The program includes pre-kindergarten for four year olds, childcare for younger siblings, transportation, breakfast, lunch, adult activities, home visits, workshops, field trips, swim lessons and many other special events.

PARENTS AS TEACHERS PROGRAM

Jamestown YWCA
Westfield Memorial Hospital
Phone:(716) 488-2237 X228 or (716) 484-1752

Parents as Teachers is a parent education program based on the philosophy that parents are their children's first and most influential teachers. PAT is designed to provide all parents of young children with the information and support they need to give their children the best possible start in life. Parents as Teachers provides regularly scheduled home visits by certified parent educators, group meetings with other parents, periodic screening of children's development, and linkage with a resource network of area service providers.

PROJECT LINK
(Learning is Never Complete)

Lincoln Elementary School
301 Front Street
Jamestown, NY 14701
Phone:(716) 661-9420

A NYS DSS registered school age childcare program that includes snack time, homework help, computers, arts & crafts, general recreation, physical recreation, music lessons, community guests, various artists in residence and field trips.

SOMETHING SPECIAL CHILD CARE CENTER

Chautauqua Connections North
10825 Bennett Road
Dunkirk, NY 14048
Phone:(716) 366-8176

Quality child care is provided in a safe and nurturing environment by trained caregivers. Curriculum is based on the individual needs of each child, including age and developmentally appropriate activities. A nutritious breakfast, lunch, and snack are served daily.

WOMEN'S SERVICES OF CHAUTAUQUA COUNTY

Medical Arts Building
500 Pine Street
Jamestown, NY 14701
Phone:(716) 484-1234

Parenting classes are held in the fall and the spring. Classes meet for 2 1/2 hours once a week for six weeks. The last class includes a visit to the WCA hospital for a tour of the labor, delivery, and nursery areas. All areas of infant care are discussed. The girls get a folder of information to take home for referral. Sometimes, we also have free magazines to hand out on parenting and free product samples.

YWCA KIDS & COMPANY EARLY CHILD CARE & EDUCATION

Jamestown YWCA
401 N. Main Street
Jamestown, NY 14701
Phone:(716) 488-2237

Licensed Day Care Program - NAEYC accredited. Full day preschool program for 2 - 5 year olds. Before and after school program for 5 - 12 year olds. Transportation provided by YWCA van to schools. Transportation for afterschool program can be arranged through Project LIFT or the YWCA van. Center provides full day childcare to school aged children during the spring and winter recess and throughout the summer.

YWCA OF WESTFIELD

58 South Portage Street
Westfield, NY 14787
Phone:(716) 326-2011

For students at Westfield school. The before school program provides breakfast, crafts and large motor activities. The after school program provides homework help, snack, crafts, game, outside and gym games.

Parenting Information

Parenting Information/Child Care